I worry
by master of toast
Summary: my first great expectations fanfic. Pip is worried the night before they leave with Magwitch. Herbert has a remedy. SLASH AND SMUT. please review.


A/n: In this fic I'm ignoring the fact that pip's arm is hurt. He can still have sex lol. also, I can't write very well in Dicken's style. I'm sorry. Please don't kill me. WARNING: SLASH AND SMUT.

I rushed into Herbert's room in the dead of night and threw myself upon the bed with the intention of waking him. He however, remained asleep. I shook him violently until he came about and asked me what in god's name had happened.

"Herbert," said I pulling my legs close to me and staring listlessly at him, "I have the strangest conviction that we have been sleeping for four and twenty hours. Surly it must be time to do the deed now? Please tell me it is so, that I might not be so unjust for waking you."

"My dear Handel, it's perhaps midnight or," he said glancing at his wall clock, "half past the hour. I'm afraid your nerves are getting the best of you."

I looked away and apologized for disrupting his precious sleep. He smiled a bit and patted my arm gently.

"Not at all Pip, don't be so sorry. I know you are worried about our friend but I'm sure he will be quite safe in our hands." he said.

"Yes," I responded softly. I went to remove myself from his bed but he caught my arm in his. His eyes seemed to glisten with an emotion I couldn't quite place...

"Stay, Handel, you'll never rest if you go back to your room." I almost ignored him but some commanding undertone of his voice paralyzed me. I laid down hesitantly and buried my head in my arms while I stretched out on my stomach. He tossed the blanket over us and settled down to sleep again. It was comfortably warm beneath the blankets but I still shivered in spite of myself. I tried to ease a bit away from Herbert- for indeed we were quite close- but he would simply mumbled for me to stay put. Eventually I gave up the idea of trying to sleep and instead rolled onto my side to face Herbert.

"Still awake my dear Handel?"

"Yes, and worried as ever Herbert."

He smirked at me and asked if I wanted to take my mind off things. At my assurance that this was exactly what I wanted to do he pulled me closer to him and began tracing circles down my neck with his fingers. I trembled at his touch.

"Ah.... touchy aren't we?" he asked, "Perhaps I'll find your weakness..."

There was silence for a moment as he continued to trail his hands along my collar bone. After waiting in vain for me to respond he spoke.

"I gave up Clara for you."

His words came as such a shock to me. I thought he loved her, I thought those 'come hither' looks he sometimes had were directed to her. Never did I expect them to be for me. Never did I suspect that he could have feelings for me. Never did I consider that this fact could make me want to kiss him.

Closer still he pulled me and I began to feel strangely aroused. He put his face inches from mine and slipped his hand between my legs. I blushed redder than the finest cherry tomato and he smirked again. His other hand slipped up to my lips and he began tracing them too with his index finger. The hand between my legs began to move upward and I felt him ghosting his hand along my growing erection. I couldn't help it.

I let loose a whimper of pleasure to which he responded by smirking and grabbing me in a rather sensitive area.

"Estella will never do this to you Handel." I nodded slightly, knowing this to be true, but I didn't respond aside from blushing harder.

Then he kissed me.

His lips were soft on mine and his hands in my hair pulling me closer. He kissed me hard, willing me to respond and after a second I kissed him back.

"Let go of Estella. Your lover is right beside you." he whispered as we broke apart.

"...Right beside me."

And I kissed him.

Naturally, it got intense. He kissed me hard and rolled so that he lay atop me. I let our bodies grind together as he stuffed his tongue into my mouth. He started undoing my nightshirt buttons as I tugged at the drawstrings for his pants.

I was surprised; it was pure ecstasy.

"Oooh..." he purred as my shirt slipped off, "you are falling fast aren't you?"

He tore my pants from my body before removing his own. I took a chance and started undoing his shirt with my trembling fingers.

"I'm nervous..." I whispered as it dropped into the covers. He responded by kissing me again in a kind of 'trust me' manner.

We were both naked soon enough and he was pressing his body hard onto mine. He licked my lips before trailing down my stomach and licking at me enticingly. He lifted his head to look at me and I smirked. He sat up and I followed suit uncertainly. He took a hold of my hair and dragged my face to his. He kissed me quickly before shoving my head down and letting me go. I knew what he wanted me to do but I was somewhat scared. He was hard as anything and I knew I was to. Seeing him naked was turning me on.... especially his large, sexy...

I bent at the waist and licked him like a child's lollipop. He was tasty. I ran my tongue along his shaft and sucked at his head before swallowing him. He moaned sexily and I moved faster. I swallowed him as much as I could; from his head to his balls.

"Handel..." he practically growled. He took me by my hair and forced me onto him, further down than I thought possible. He started panting and moaning deeply as I played with him. This lasted for a few minutes before he finally took me by my hair again and pulled me up so that our faces were level with one another. He kissed me hard, shoving his tongue into my mouth and teasing me with his hands.

"H-Herbert!" I gasped, completely at a loss for words. I could the wanting emanating from us like heat from a flame. I wanted him to take me.

He seemed to know what I wanted instinctively and he pushed me onto my stomach and ran his fingers up my back. I shuddered and I didn't need to turn to know he was smirking.

"Well my dear Handel.... I suppose it's time I see how far I can take you." he purred. I felt him slip into me and I gasped.

"H-Herbert!" I moaned. I felt good to have him inside me. I wanted him to hurt me, break me, destroy me, and above all to love me.

"D-deeper!" I urged him. He complied readily and thrust at random irregularities until our rhythms finally matched. I moaned and began playing with my much-abbandoned cock. I could feel us both getting excited as the seconds ticked by.

"I-I think I'm going to-!" I gasped as I ejaculated the sheets. Herbert chuckled from above me.

"I must be your first. That doesn't surprise me much." he said sexily. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. He thrust deeper suddenly and I panted with the effort of keeping strong under him. I thought he was about to pull out and then-

"Handel I-"

A strange but not unpleasant wetness filled me and I felt Herbert's quiet shaking as the result of his orgasm. He pulled out slowly and collapsed on top of me. We were exhausted, completely and utterly exhausted.

"I suppose I'm not much better at this than you are." Herbert mumbled into my hair. I smiled to myself and shoved him off of me so that he lay on his back. I crawled in close and laid my head down on his chest.

"I love you." I whispered.

"You love Estella." he countered.

"No, I love you."

I looked up and saw him smile. I smiled too. I didn't need Estella, I had Herbert. Herbert, my best friend, the man who gave up his first love for me, the man who took my virginity. _My _Herbert.

"I love you too."

The next morning I woke before the rest and did my best to make the other's breakfast. Startop had no idea what he'd missed.


End file.
